The Perfect Foam

Diamonds are forever?

April 28, 2010 – 2:17 pm

A friend of mine who I will call RDP for the sake of this post recently requested that I not only begin posting again on a regular basis, which I plan on finally doing, but that I also delve into some more controversial topics.  My post tonight certainly is a bit more controversial, at least for about 50 percent of the (American) population!

For many years now I have had strongly negative feelings towards diamonds, and not only because American society was telling me that in order to get married I would most likely have to shell out by some estimates 2-6 months of my salary on a diamond engagement ring.  Though of course this has never struck me as something to look forward to.

A huge part of my ambivalence is a result of my European upbringing- my parents exchanged simple gold bands on their wedding day, as was (and still mostly is) the custom in Europe.  Almost none of my aunts or even cousins brandish a diamond ring, let along a diamond engagement ring.

Then there’s the recency of the diamond engagement phenomenon.  After a drop in diamond sales lasting two decades, De Beers developed a national advertising campaign to promote diamonds in the 1930s.  “A diamond is forever” came along in 1947, and by 1965 80 percent of American women were the happy recipients of a diamond engagement ring.

So essentially one company, De Beers, decided that the only way for a man to express his everlasting love to a women was to purchase a diamond ring for her, and they set out on a crusade to ensure that this vision became the norm.  We can safely agree that De Beers has succeeded and mightily so.

(Naturally this is simplifying the events leading to the normalcy of a diamond engagement ring, but for the purposes of this discussion I won’t delve any deeper than this.)

One of the major ironies of a diamond engagement ring is how contrary it is to the supposed age of equitable relationships.  A man is expected to provide this ring, while the women has no similar expectations placed on her.  And for me at least, wearing an engagement ring isn’t really a solution because it’s not something that I want.

In a recent discussion with my friend RDP, we narrowed down our problems with the diamond industry to a few key points.

1. De Beers has been able to control supply and thus maintain high prices (though it no longer controls upwards of 80% of the market, it still controls an incredible large share)
2. Blood diamonds- diamonds were historically used to fund conflicts in Africa and though this has been somewhat controlled through the Kimberly Process, there are still diamonds that get through the cracks and it does not regulate cutting and polishing centers
3. There can also be human rights violations, including child labor and worker exploitation, that occur in the process of mining diamonds and this is much more difficult to avoid when purchasing a diamond
4. The environmental degradation resulting from the of mining diamonds is severe

There are ways to get around some of the above issues.  You can solely purchase Canadian diamonds, which come from mines with extremely high environmental and ethical standards, though there aren’t as many Canadian diamonds on the market, meaning that prices often tend to be higher.  Perhaps the most ideal way to purchase a diamond, AND avoid all of the above issues is to purchase a lab created diamond (which is NOT the same thing as a diamond simulant).  But the problem here is one of size.  Eventually this will change, but for the time being if you are in the market for anything other than a fairly small diamond, this route simply isn’t available to you yet.

I personally think it’s a shame that women in America learn from a very young age that they should expect to receive a diamond engagement ring at the appropriate time in their lives.  Not only is it materialistic and superficial, I also find it to be pretty boring.  I think it would be much more exciting if every couple came up with a unique way to celebrate their love for one another.  The thousands spent on a ring could certainly be put to good use for any number of other options.  An experience maybe, rather than a “thing”.

I am very well aware of the up hill battle facing anyone considering alternatives to a diamond engagement ring.  It can be extremely difficult to make the argument to a woman that the only reason she wants a diamond is because of marketing and advertising.  I do see the benefits in making the person you love infinitely happy, even if it’s a diamond ring that brings them this happiness.  BUT, on the other hand, I can also point out that to make someone infinitely happy shouldn’t necessarily require the purchase of a material good, especially one with the many drawbacks of a diamond.

I may very well end up buying some form of an engagement ring myself, but I still believe in the value of at least having a discussion on the topic.  And the real problem is that most men simply go to a jewelery store and buy a diamond without thinking about where it came from, and what it took to get that diamond from ground to store.  It’s astonishing how many “good” people (both men and women) can overlook the many negative aspects of such a complex and notorious industry, simply because most of the industry takes place “out of sight”, thus it’s also “out of mind”.

Whew.  That was quite the post.  Thoughts anyone?